We Put Her In The Nursery!

Today at church my husband and I took a big step in parenthood, we put our nine month old daughter in the nursery. Let me tell you, that was nerve-racking! The ladies running the nursery are so friendly and I'm sure she had fun, but I'll tell you I can't remember a word of the sermon.

I sat through the service starring at the screen just knowing that my daughter needed me and they were going to call me any minute. I did not close my eyes and I'm not sure I even blinked! The sermon seemed so long (although I'm sure it was regular timing and good as usual.) I could hardly sit still and I just wanted to jump out of my seat and run down and get my daughter.

Finally church ended and I'm pretty sure I ran out of the auditorium and down the stairs. I was so focused on getting down the stairs that I did not even notice that you could hear my daughter crying about half way down (thank goodness!) When we got there they said that she had a great time and did not start crying until just a few minutes before we got down there. My instincts wanted to cry that she was crying, but I knew that she was taken care of. She had a fresh diaper (which is what prompted the crying), they had given her her bottle, she had played, and she was being held and comforted.

I held back the mama bear in me and calmly thanked them and made light of her crying. Then one of my friends said that she had been down there and did not even notice my daughter was down there because she was so happy until the last few minutes. Truthfully I think when it came down to it I was glad to know she missed me.

We were heading out of the church and I wanted to hold her (since my husband had been holding her.) I reached over to grab her and she started crying. That is when I really wanted to cry. I wanted her to be so excited that we came to get her that she gave me her big slobbery baby kisses and leaned her precious little head on my shoulder. I think I almost cried when she cried over me wanting to hold her. At least my husband got the satisfaction of knowing that she loves him.

After all that I end today knowing that we have stepped into another stage of parenthood. We are now back to enjoying church service alone. It does not feel right yet, I miss my baby. I know that it's only the beginning of letting her be independent and for that I am sad. My baby girl is growing up and it is so bittersweet. I want her to stop growing and stay just the way she is, but I want her to grow up and be a strong woman of God. I guess I will just enjoy the moments we have now and know that someday we will share special moments laughing about the antics of her children. Now I will seize the moments and memorize her beautiful baby faces and the joy of her baby laughter.