My Goal In LIfe

Every since I can remember I have always had this goal of being a stay at home mom. I think I just grew up knowing that that's what I wanted to be. I could have been a princess, doctor or lawyer, but I wouldn't have been true to myself.

I went to college with the original intentions of becoming a nurse, later I changed my major to elementary education. I had the ability to go to college, but I was only going because I was "supposed to." I never even honestly declared a major and looking back it was probably because they did not offer the degree I was looking for "Motherhood" (although they did at one point offer a degree in Home Economics, long before my time.) When asked in my college philosophy class what I wanted to do with my life I responded "be a stay at home mom." It is what I was created to do.

I am lucky enough to be living my dream. My husband makes a good enough income to live off of and be a one income family. I get to stay home and care for my beautiful daughter and it really is all I could have ever dreamed of. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity, but today while I was mopping the kitchen I realized that I could be so much better at what I do. I want to do as much as possible to give my child the best life I can offer. (Let me just say that my goals to be better at what I'm doing are just that, my goals. I'm not trying to say that the only good stay at home mom is one who accomplishes the thing I want to accomplish to feel like I'm the best mom. I'm saying that I want more from my life than I am giving it.)

It's amazing how much there is that I could do better my life, that I had never really considered before because I like convenience. I decided today that I would like to start making bread for my family at home, I'd like to try cloth diapering, I would even love to try roasting my own coffee beans. I would like to have more control over what my family eats and puts in their body. It also is important to me to save any money that I can. Why should I pay $3 a loaf of bread when I can make my own for less? Why should I worry about running out of bread when I can just make it myself?

I have a friend who has 5 children, and she makes her own bread, hamburger buns, etc. I admire her. I would like to someday possibly have 5 children and give them the best that I can offer. I may find out that the best I can offer is simply to buy them bread, but I'd like to say that at least I tried and I know that's what is best for us.

When I didn't have a child I could only imagine what life would be like with one. Now that she is 9 months old and I am finally getting the hang of things I want to do more than just make it. I want to be the best that I can be. These first 9 months of her life have taken a lot of adjusting and have been at times chaotic. I've been so grateful to the internet and other mothers who have expressed similar issues as I have. It's so nice to know that I'm not alone in what I'm going through and in fact it's perfectly normal. If my blog only reaches one person, but I have helped that person to realize she's not alone I'll be happy.

So follow me as I continue on my journey of motherhood. Laugh with me. cry with me, learn with me, as I make my life more of a home made life, and become the mother I hope to be. I'm excited to share with you.